The Invisible Labour of Festive Celebrations

Heightened workload during festivities can also be experienced in other societies and celebrations such as Chuseok (Korean Thanksgiving) and Christmas, which similarly rely on often unseen forms of care work. In South Korea, for instance, Chuseok involves ancestral rites and elaborate meals that require extensive preparation. One article highlights that amongst the most unequal aspects of these traditions is the expectation that women take primary responsibility for preparing food for ancestral rites, as well as managing the subsequent household tasks, cleaning up³. Another journal article corroborated that claim for the memorial service for their ancestors⁴. As a result, they shoulder a disproportionate share of domestic responsibilities during the festive period. This reflects traditional norms that continue to position women as the primary caretakers of the home, reinforcing expectations to prioritise domestic labour over participation in work outside the household, particularly in comparison to men⁵.

Another comparable event is Christmas, particularly in contexts where the holiday is usually associated with warmth, generosity, and family togetherness. As soon as the holiday season approaches, the pressures of celebration begin to mount. Beneath these ideals lies the expectation to curate a “perfect” celebration through decorating the home, organise gatherings, planning, purchasing, and wrapping gifts, and preparing meals⁶. Alongside these visible tasks is the emotional work of maintaining family harmony, managing expectations, and ensuring that others feel cared for⁷. A French study found that 62% of women reported taking on more holiday-related tasks than their partners, with 37% stating that they shouldered significantly more. As with Hari Raya Aidilfitri, the success of the celebration often depends on careful coordination, emotional attentiveness, work, even as this labour remain largely unrecognised⁸.

Taken together, these case studies emphasise how family, tradition, and domestic norms rely heavily on gendered expectations. They also highlight that emotional labour is not confined to any single culture, but forms a part of a broader, global pattern in which festive joy is sustained through efforts that are essential yet frequently invisible.

Conversely, some might argue that a percentage of women genuinely enjoy taking on these roles⁹. However, enjoyment does not necessarily negate the societal expectation that women will (or should) shoulder the bulk of festive responsibilities. In a world that aspires towards equality, addressing these imbalances begins with greater awareness and more intentional conversations within households. Additionally, normative ideals of being a “good mother”, “dutiful daughter”, or “selfless caregiver” often shape how individuals (particularly women) measure their contributions, reinforcing a strong link between self-worth and care work. Consequently, many women may feel compelled to meet these standards, even at the expense of their own well-being. Re-evaluating these expectations, whether it means to simplify traditions, redistribute responsibilities, or set clear boundaries, opens up space to reconsider what celebration should truly entail.

Encouragingly, there are signs of change today. The younger generation is rethinking how Hari Raya Aidilfitri can be organised – for instance, through turning to catering services to ease the load. Festive catering orders during Hari Raya Aidilfitri surged by up to 35% in 2025 compared to the previous year, as more people (particularly young families) opt to avoid the hassle of cooking¹⁰. Even some seniors, who previously insisted on preparing meals for the family, are now. These shifts suggest a growing willingness to prioritise sustainability over perfection.

Within the premises of tradition, preparations for Hari Raya Aidilfitri are deeply communal, rooted in the spirit of gotong royong (a Malay concept of mutual help and collective effort). Foods such as lemang, a glutinous rice dish cooked in bamboo over an open fire, were often prepared together with family members, neighbours, or the wider community, turning laborious tasks into a shared activity. However, in more modern times, where such communal practices are less common, these traditions serve as a reminder of how festive labour can be distributed collectively. Additionally, these routines not only made the preparation more manageable, but also reinforced social bonds and a sense of belonging. In addition to cooking, more people can actively participate by helping with cleaning up after preparation, assisting with grocery shopping, or setting up the house for open houses – tasks that ease the workload and encourage collective engagement. In this author’s opinion, such examples can offer an alternative model for celebrating festivities, one that emphasises participation and cooperation over individual labour and responsibility. Upkeeping the Malay culture and spirit, at best.

Notably, this area of research remains underexplored. While studies, media narratives and anecdotes on festive labour and gender roles are more abundant for occasions such as Chuseok or Christmas, there is comparatively little focused specifically on Hari Raya Aidilfitri. For the Malay community, existing literature often addresses gender broadly, but rarely examine the intersection of gender and festive practices, leaving important questions about labour, responsibility and cultural norms largely unexplored.

Ultimately, rethinking festive celebrations in Singapore is not about abandoning tradition, but about examining how it is sustained and on whose labour. While Hari Raya Aidilfitri remains a deeply meaningful occasion rooted in forgiveness and community, its celebration should not come at the expense of unequal and unrecognised labour. Comparisons with other festive contexts remind us that this is not an isolated cultural issue, but part of a broader pattern in which care work at the expense of oneself is normalised yet undervalued. Moving forward, a more intentional and equitable approach to Hari Raya Aidilfitri calls for shared responsibility, honest conversations, and a willingness to redefine how to achieve a meaningful and enjoyable celebration for everyone involved. In doing so, the spirit of the occasion can be more fully realised not only in the warmth extended to others, but also in the care and consideration afforded within the home itself.