PARENTING AND PHYSICAL DISCIPLINE
Every parent has their own rights and opinions when it comes to raising their child, but what happens when the child makes a mistake or is disobedient? Does spanking correct the child’s misbehaviour effectively?
From a quick smack on the palm to a full-fledged caning on the buttocks, the diametrically opposing views taken by the two camps – for and against parental physical discipline – have been hotly contested for a long time. Certainly, child discipline can be one of the most challenging aspects of parenthood.
Physical discipline or corporal punishment is the most common form of violence against children worldwide. The United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child defines corporal or physical punishment as ‘any punishment in which physical force is used and intended to cause some degree of pain or discomfort, however light’[1]. This may include hitting children with the hand or with an object such as a belt or a stick, kicking, and forcing children to stay in uncomfortable positions.
In Singapore, there is no legislation banning parents from using physical discipline on their children. Although the use of physical discipline at home is not regulated, the situation is different in the preschool setting. Specifically, the Early Childhood Development Centres Regulations prohibit staff or education service providers of licensed preschools from administering corporal punishment[2]. However, according to Singapore’s Ministry of Education, caning may be a disciplinary option for ‘serious offences as a last resort or when absolutely necessary’[3] for male students from Primary School and above.
According to the World Health Organisation, all corporal punishment, regardless of how mild or light, carries an inherent risk of escalation. Studies suggest that parents who use physical discipline have a heightened risk of perpetrating severe maltreatment[4]. Even though parents may mete out physical discipline with the intention to resolve, correct, or redirect the child’s behaviour, there is a risk that such actions may cross the line into abuse.
Locally, in 2018, a 35-year-old man who subjected his nine-year-old son to a beating over homework was sentenced to four months’ jail[5]. The boy was admitted to the hospital, where a medical report showed that he suffered multiple hematomas or bruises on his body, including hook-shaped ones measuring 3cm and 6cm. In a more recent case in 2020, a father was sentenced to nine months’ jail for excessively caning his 3-year-old son[6] because the child was non-compliant. The boy was taken to the hospital with multiple cane marks. The markings ranged from 1cm to 10cm in length on all four limbs, as well as on his torso and back.
WHAT DOES RESEARCH SAY?
While one may argue that physical discipline-turned-abuse cases are extreme and far and few between, research evidence has overwhelmingly shown that the negative impact of even light physical discipline can extend beyond physical injuries. For instance, a meta-analysis of 75 studies finds detrimental outcomes as a consequence of spanking children[7]. These include increased child aggression and antisocial behaviour, lower self-esteem, more mental health problems and more negative relationships with parents. In addition, according to a review conducted by the End Violence against Children and the End Corporal Punishment initiative, there are more than 250 studies conducted globally, on the impact of and associations with physical discipline that links to a wide range of negative outcomes, including direct physical harm, increased violent and criminal behaviour in adults, impaired cognitive ability, damaged family relationships, and increased acceptance and use of other forms of violence[8].
In addition, according to the World Health Organisation, children who have been physically punished tend to exhibit high hormonal reactivity to stress, and overloaded biological systems, including the nervous, cardiovascular, and nutritional systems[9]. Beyond the negative effects of spanking on children’s social-emotional development, self-regulation, and cognitive development, recent research has also shown that spanking alters children’s brain response in ways similar to severe maltreatment, which increases children’s perception of threats that heightens their fight or flight response[10]. This makes it difficult for children to learn the actual values that the parents are hoping to instill.
Recently, and right at home, Singapore Children’s Society and Yale-NUS College embarked on the Parental Disciplinary Practices Study to understand the prevalence of physical discipline in Singapore, and the experiences of parents and caregivers in disciplining children[11]. Conducted in the first half of 2021, this study also surveyed and interviewed young adults on their experiences of having gone through various discipline methods.
The findings of the study are shared in the following section.
PARENTAL DISCIPLINARY PRACTICES STUDY BY SINGAPORE CHILDREN’S SOCIETY AND YALE-NUS COLLEGE
Attitudes and Experiences of Parents Using Physical Discipline
It was found that parents in Singapore frequently used a combination of physical and psychological discipline methods in their parenting. Almost all the parents (99.6%) in the study used non-physical forms of discipline such as reasoning and rewarding good behaviour, and 84.7% used psychological discipline methods that included shouting and refusing to speak to the child. Notably, nearly 45% of parents resorted to at least one form of physical discipline such as spanking or hitting the child with an object in the past year. Of these parents, 30% were found to do so frequently (at least several times a year).
Strikingly, there is a disconnect between parents’ attitudes towards physical discipline and their actual use of it, with more than half of parents having used physical discipline frequently in the past year, but yet considered it to be neither effective nor acceptable.
Why and When Did Parents Use Physical Discipline
According to the parents, physical discipline was usually described as a last resort “when all else fails”, or something that parents would “subconsciously” default to out of “muscle memory”. Singapore’s use of judicial caning was also an example raised by parents as an external, macrosystem influence that backed their use of physical discipline. Quite apparent in the study was the intergenerational transmission and mirroring of societal values, in which the parents tend to parent the way they were parented. One parent shared,
“It’s just like a so-called 一代传一代 [Mandarin phrase; meaning to pass from one generation to the next], [from] generation to generation… Because my grandfather hit my dad, then my dad will hit me. Then now it’s my turn to hit my children.”
When it comes to when parents resort to physical discipline, the factors cited by the parents include the type and nature of the child’s misbehaviour such as the severity, frequency and intention, and child factors like age, maturity and temperament, and child’s remorse. Parental emotion regulation is also a key contributing factor leading to the use of physical discipline. One parent said;
“Usually it depends on my mood and my stress rather than what they did… If I’m really stressed out, that’s when I don’t really think and I react to the situation, so then I find myself physically punishing them.”
Young Adults’ Experiences with Receiving Physical Discipline During Childhood
The young adults who experienced physical discipline in their childhood described physical discipline as being ineffective. They expressed intensely negative feelings about being on the receiving end and felt that physical discipline had little instructive value. Notably, physical discipline had only taught them how to get away with being disciplined. One young adult participant said,
“Physical discipline teaches you that you can get away with these but you can’t get away with that… It was just more of like, ‘Okay, this is A leads to B, so let’s avoid going to B sort of thing … at that point of time, you don’t think of learning anything.”
Many young adults also described how their younger selves experienced fear and pain when receiving physical discipline. As one reported,
“I was very scared. Because like, they didn’t really tell me when they would start or stop the discipline. So it just felt it was going on forever. And I was like, what do I do to make this stop?”
Several young adults identified the long-term negative impact that physical discipline had on them. One of them shared,
“It’s definitely not how a parent should treat a child because I had to go through therapy for that. And it has really impacted me in such a way that … just a few months of therapy alone won’t help me. It’ll probably take years to really overcome this… it’s not the case that I hate (my parents) a lot. It’s more of, they can’t do anything to make me love them anymore. And the best thing that they can do is to just keep a distance.”
Outcomes and Impact of Physical Discipline
The study found that physical discipline did not necessarily yield the objectives the parents wanted to achieve (e.g. learning lessons, acquiring values, developing a child’s character). While it may have elicited immediate compliance and attention when it was meted out, young adults who experienced childhood physical discipline reported not learning any moral lessons from it.
In addition, parents’ use of physical discipline is associated with poorer parent-child relationships in the longer run. The study also suggested that receiving harsh discipline during childhood is associated with poorer emotion regulation[12] among young adults. Even moderate levels of physical discipline can have detrimental effects when coupled with high levels of psychological discipline.
Of concern from the study’s implication is that infants, preschoolers, and primary schoolers were more likely to be at the receiving end of physical discipline. This is worrying as physical discipline reinforces the power difference between the parent and the child as the parent gains more power and authority over the child through pain or fear. Younger children are particularly vulnerable as they are likely to have fewer cognitive resources to cope with the negative effects of physical discipline.
SPARE THE ROD, TEACH THE CHILD
For years, this near-universal practice of correction was considered acceptable, necessary and a parental right, but a paradigm shift has led to an ongoing global discussion on the importance of a non-violent environment for optimal child development. In recent years, the prohibition of physical discipline of children has accelerated with 65 states now having full prohibition of corporal punishment in all settings[13], a marked increase from only five countries back in 1996. In addition, the United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child regards the elimination of violent and humiliating punishment of children as an immediate and unqualified obligation of States parties to the Convention on the Rights of the Child[14]. This was also explicitly mentioned in the recommendations of the United Nations Study on Violence against Children as a necessary component of law reform.
Advocating for a legislative ban is a hard line that some states have taken. But the law alone is not enough to change attitudes and practices. A considerable amount of education is needed to gear parents toward positive parenting. The committee ministers of the Council of Europe define positive parenting as “parental behaviour based on the best interest of the child that is nurturing, empowering, non-violent and provides recognition and guidance which involves setting of boundaries to enable the full development of the child”[15].
Singapore Children’s Society shares three principles of positive parenting that can help keep children in check without causing physical or emotional pain[16]:
1. Connect before Correcting:
There are several ways to establish connections with the child, including giving the child full attention, acknowledging, and validating the child’s feelings and parents sharing their feelings, co-creating solutions with the child when both are calm, and being physically affectionate. When parents can connect with their child by understanding their perspectives and needs, the parent-child bond is strengthened, and the child will listen better. Consequently, the child will be more willing to be corrected by their parent.
2. Teach, Process and Model:
It is important that parents understand their child’s developmental stage and temperament and tailor their disciplinary methods accordingly. At each stage, there is knowledge that must be shared and skills that need to be taught. Parents need to be patient and allow time and space for the child to process these parents’ teachings. When parents model desired behaviours, it helps the child to learn through observation.
3. Reflect-Pause-Breathe-Think:
A parent’s emotional state affects their ability to practise these principles effectively. Reflect on issues that could be triggering. Validate emotions and show self-compassion. There is a space between a trigger and your response in which parents can choose how to react. If the child is not in danger, pause, take a deep breath, and think: “What am I feeling right now?” When parents are better regulated, they will be more ready to connect before correcting the child.
THE WAY FORWARD
Based on the Children’s Society’s study findings shared earlier, it will take a multi-pronged approach to shift the general population’s deep-seated mindsets regarding the use of physical discipline. The way forward will involve several approaches which include parents, professionals, and the public:
1. Increasing awareness about the negative impact of physical discipline
2. Supporting parents in regulating their emotions
3. Promoting alternative disciplinary strategies
4. Promoting understanding of child development and brain science
These recommendations can be incorporated into parenting programmes and public education initiatives, directed at parents with younger children or parents-to-be. That way, parents and caregivers would be better equipped to start their parenting journey using non-physical disciplinary techniques and hopefully break the intergenerational use of physical discipline.
As unpleasant as it is, discipline is still an essential component of parenting. Indeed, there seem to be some intergenerational influences at work when it comes to physical discipline, where its use by the older generation is modelled after by younger parents. However, each generation acquires new insights that advance society; insights that may not be readily available to earlier generations. Despite differences in parenting approaches, it is undeniable that most parents are dedicated to what is best for their children. With strong evidence pointing to how the use of physical discipline can lead to negative outcomes for the child, parents can now make a stand against it. ⬛
1 United Nations. Forms of punishment. Accessed on 2023, February 10 at: https://violenceagainstchildren.un.org/content/forms-punishment
2 Ministry of Social and Family Development. National study on root causes & extent of sexual exploitation & abuse of children for design of policies & programmes. 2021, February 16. Retrieved from: https://www.msf.gov.sg/media-room/Pages/National-study-on-root-causes-&-extent-of-sexual-exploitation-&-abuse-ofchildren-for-design-of-policies-&-programmes.aspx
3 Ministry of Education. Discipline. Accessed on 2023, February 17 at: https://www.moe.gov.sg/education-in-sg/our-programmes/discipline
4 World Health Organization. Corporal punishment and health. 2021, November 23. Retrieved from: https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/corporal-punishment-and-health
5 Lam, L. Jail for father who beat 9-year-old son with hanger over homework. CNA. 2018, December 6. Retrieved from: https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/jail-father-who-beat-9-year-old-son-hanger-over-homework-911876
6 Lydia Lam. Man gets jail for excessively caning 3-year-old son, leaving marks all over his body. CNA. 2020, August 7. Retrieved from: https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/dad-jail-caning-son-excessively-court-612541
7 Gershoff, E. T., and Grogan-Kaylor, A. Spanking and child outcomes: Old controversies and new meta-analyses. 2016. Journal of Family Psychology, 30(4), pp. 453–469. Retrieved from: https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000191
8 Refer to: Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children. Research. Retrieved from: https://endcorporalpunishment.org/resources/research/
9 World Health Organization. Corporal punishment and health. 2021, November 23. Retrieved from: https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/corporal-punishment-and-health
10 Anderson, J. The Effect of Spanking on the Brain. Harvard Graduate School of Education. 2021, April 13. Retrieved from: https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/uk/21/04/effect-spanking-brain
11 Singapore Children’s Society. Physical Discipline in Singapore: Prevalence, Perspectives and Experiences of Parents and Young Adults. 2022. Available at: https://www.childrensociety.org.sg/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Physical-Discipline-Study-Brief.pdf
12 The process in which individuals influence which emotions they have, when and how they are experienced, and in what manner these emotions are expressed.
13 Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children. Progress. Accessed on 23 February 2023 at: https://endcorporalpunishment.org/countdown/
14 UNICEF. The Convention on the Rights of the Child: Forty-second session. 2006. Retrieved from: https://www.unicef-irc.org/portfolios/general_comments/GC8_en.doc.html
1513 Council of Europe. Council of Europe Conference of Ministers responsible for Family Affairs: Positive Parenting. June 2009. Retrieved from: https://www.coe.int/t/dc/files/ministerial_conferences/2009_family_affairs/Positive_Parenting_en.pdf
16 Singapore Children’s Society. Get Good Behaviour Without Getting Physical. Singapore Children Society. 2022, November 7. Retrieved from: https://www.childrensociety.org.sg/physical-discipline
Nabilah Mohammad is a Research Officer at the Singapore Children’s Society. She holds a Bachelor of Science in Psychology and a Specialist Diploma in Statistics and Data Mining. Her research interest includes understanding the lived experiences, challenges and needs of the vulnerable and marginalised groups.
