I once encountered a young lady in the course of my work. Juanita (not her real name) had a few children, from several different men. She had been rejected by her family and had no place to call home. She needed help. Her children needed help. They needed a roof over their heads. It turned out that there was little I could do to help.
Juanita and her children were not considered a family unit under the Housing and Development Act. She was under 35 years of age and was considered ineligible under the Singles Scheme too. She had no friends or relations to take her in, no repository of funds to tap into, and now, no roof over her children’s precious heads.
Her story is not an uncommon one, however. It is time we re-visit this issue, or at the very least, raise awareness about it.
RECENT DEVELOPMENTS
Recently, Nee Soon GRC MP Mr Louis Ng had filed a parliamentary petition on 11 September 2017 that called for amendments to be made to the Housing and Development Act so that unwed and divorced parents will be able to have more access to housing – regardless of their marital status. Though the petition ‘failed’1, it allowed the community to have more conversations on issues related to the housing needs of single parents. Mr Ng passionately argued2 that recognising unmarried parents and their children as a family nucleus will allow them to be eligible for public housing schemes.
Aside from MP Louis Ng, AWARE3 and other community stakeholders have also, over the years, advocated for housing policies to change in order to allow unwed single parents and their children to benefit from a roof over their heads. Currently, an unwed single parent can only buy a flat under the “Singles Scheme” after he or she turns 35. Recent news has also cast a spotlight on some unwed single parents who decided to ‘adopt’ their own child4 in order to form a ‘family unit’ to fulfil some criteria set by some policies. However, the ministry has responded in Parliament that adopting a child will still not remove the debarment in owning a subsidised flat5.
DIVORCED PARENTS ARE AFFECTED TOO
Unwed single parents might be the usual focus when we talk about issues related to single parents and housing. However, not known to many, divorced single parents also go through a lot of challenges in obtaining a house for themselves and their custodial children. MP Louis Ng also raised this concern in the petition as he proposed a removal of the debarment period (of 30 months) that bans divorced single parents from renting or owning subsidised flats from HDB, after they have sold their matrimonial flat (if it is a part of their divorce order). He argued that housing is a “basic right” and cited the Convention on the Rights of the Child to support his argument. Divorced single parents are also unable to own a flat for 3 years should their ex-spouse apply for and successfully own a subsidised flat (only one ex-spouse can own a subsidised flat during the debarment period).
Having a $1,500 income ceiling for renting a unit from HDB has also been difficult for single parents, even if they are not subjected to any ‘debarment’ as above6. This is because many of these single parents could be earning more than $1,500 but are unable to afford any other means of accommodation aside from a subsidised rental unit from HDB. These ‘lower middle-income’ single parents need as much help as those from the low-income group as they struggle daily to provide for their children amidst the rising cost of living, and very high rental in the rental open market (especially if they have no family to accommodate them).
Divorce is a difficult life decision fraught with multiple issues, causing the adults involved to struggle hard to cope with it.
Imagine how much more burdensome and challenging it is for the children, who are developmentally not ready, socially inept and emotionally unprepared to see their families torn apart.
CHILDREN OF UNWED SINGLE PARENTS
There was a case in which a young girl was in danger several times of possibly being taken advantage of sexually by the unsavoury boyfriends of her unwed single mother or the house owners, due to the ‘nomadic’ nature of the family. This made her mother keep moving with even more alarming frequency.
Such a nomadic existence for years, and living out of your suitcase is not the kind of stability that children can cope with at length. Children who do not have a place they call home will unfortunately be profoundly affected socially, educationally and developmentally. A few local news pieces have also been written on single mothers having to share an overcrowded house with their family due to this7.
BEING A PRO-FAMILY NATION
The argument against creating exceptions in housing policies to allow unwed single or divorced parents to rent and own HDB property is often couched in terms of preserving the sanctity of marriage and the family in Singapore.
Like many Muslims, I hold dear to the idea that society needs to have norms and rules, one of which is that a family in its proper sense is one where the parents are legally married and the children were born after marriage.
Being a Muslim and holding conservative views of family life however does not mean we should embrace guidelines that could jeopardise the living realities of children from single parent families, especially children whose mothers are not legally wed to their fathers.
No matter how ‘unmarried’, promiscuous, socially deviant or irreligious the parents may be from our perspective, the children should not feel society’s scorn and be the unwitting victims of conservative policies.
Let’s revisit Juanita.
JUANITA – REVISITED
Juanita is an unwed single parent. Her family rejected her and her (first) pregnancy, and thus began her downward spiral in life. She met a new love, who proclaimed he would care for her and her young child, but she was abandoned again when she was pregnant with his child, her second.
As much as we think that this is a girl who did not seem to be aware of the ‘once bitten twice shy’ saying, her life story was not about being ‘promiscuous’. It was a story about looking for real love, a father for her children, and more importantly, a place to call home. She could not find anyone who was able to house her and her children, and having a boyfriend meant not only were her emotions attended to, she was also able to have a roof over her children.
I always wondered if she would be in such a state if she had been allowed to rent a room or buy a house after her first pregnancy. Would her life have turned out differently? Would she have had more than one child? Would her children have fared far better?
Even though the issues raised are worrying, the situation was much more difficult just a few years ago, when unwed single mothers were unable to receive subsidies for childcare and kindergarten fees and unable to get the Baby Bonus and maternity leave too. I also note the numerous revisions, changes and introduction of new policies that have enhanced the lives of so many of my clients. The many changes to policies have also resulted in great progress for children of unwed parents8.
As a Social Worker, I applaud and uphold the government’s policies that honour family life, community living and national pride. Although the petition by MP Louis Ng failed because the ministry did not want to “undermine the prevailing social norm of parenthood within marriage”9, I am still heartened that the ministry is able to reassure that “in relation to meeting the housing needs of children with single parents, a range of government agencies work together to ensure that no child is without adequate housing, regardless of whether his or her parents are single or married”.
LOOKING AHEAD
Entering 2018, I have every expectation and hope that Singapore will be a society that builds social policies having children in mind, and not only their parents (whom they have no control or choice over). Regardless of the mistakes that their parents have made in their choices of life partners or in their decision to not have one at all, their children should not be made to bear the brunt of this and should be given an equal head start in life.
Let’s keep in mind what Pam Leo, a parent educator and author of the book “Connection Parenting”, once famously said: “Let’s raise children who won’t have to recover from their childhoods.” ⬛
1 MND Rejects Petition from Single Parents for Changes To Housing Policy. (2017). Channel NewsAsia, from https://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/mnd-rejects-petition-from-single-parents-for-changes-to-housing-9451794
2 Hui, K. (2017). Parliament: MP Submits Petition for Inclusive Housing for Single Parents. The Straits Times, from https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/parliament-mp-submits-petition-for-inclusive-housing-for-single-parents
3 Association of Women for Action and Research, An Advocacy Group for Gender Equality
4 Hui, K. (2017). Unwed Mum Adopts Own Biological Daughter. The Straits Times, from https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/unwed-mum-adopts-own-biological-daughter
5 Single Unmarried Mothers Adopting Biological Children | Ministry of Social and Family Development. (2017). Msf.gov.sg, from https://www.msf.gov.sg/media-room/Pages/Single-unmarried-mothers-adopting-biological-children.aspx
6 Eligibility | HDB Infoweb. (2017). HDB.gov.sg, from http://www.hdb.gov.sg/cs/infoweb/residential/renting-a-flat/renting-from-hdb/public-rental-scheme/eligibility
7 Hui, K. (2017). Accommodate Single Parents in Housing Policies, Urges Aware. The Straits Times, from https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/housing/accommodate-single-parents-in-housing-policies-urges-aware
8 FAQ | Baby Bonus ->> CDA Benefits for Children of Unwed Parents. (2017). Ifaq.gov.sg, from https://www.ifaq.gov.sg/bbss/apps/fcd_faqmain.aspx?qst=hrhkp9bzcbknt75r%2bl1bopmaanxuyjsz1xtcavhh%2bg8uifs%2fssjbsgpvjzjzbch7bgcjma08%2bf10v8n0fxrwpjywllnrj3i5ojunssmjy7brrkjdbesatsjohns2irg56wveoci5zeuk4kkdsazhordcnwfikveo#topic_10126
9 MND Rejects Petition from Single Parents for Changes to Housing Policy. (2017). Channel NewsAsia, from http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/mndrejects-petition-from-single-parents-for-changes-to-housing-9451794
Ms Nooraini Razak is the Centre Manager at PPIS As-Salaam, an MSF-appointed Divorce Support Specialist Agency. In her 14 years of service, she has held multiple portfolios including coordinating Support Groupprogrammes for children and single parents, and training professionals.
