As a Chinese convert to Islam living in Singapore, my journey as a convert has been one of both hardship and immense reward. I have faced challenges such as isolation from friends and social circles, dealing with cultural differences, and learning about a new religion. However, I have also experienced the joy of discovering Islam, the beauty of the Muslim community and the deep sense of peace and fulfilment that comes with submitting to Allah’s will.
I am grateful for the support I have received from my family, friends, and the Muslim community in Singapore. I am also grateful for the organisations that provide resources and support to converts. Without their help, my journey would have been much more difficult. Before I delve into the challenges that I have faced as a new convert and how the Muslim community has supported me through my process of coming into an Islamic lifestyle, it is worthy to note that in most cases, a returning Muslim or rediscovering Muslim shares a lot in common with Muslim converts. Much of the challenges or learning curve of being a convert stems from the fact that we do not have prior knowledge of Islamic practices or even a basic understanding of the Arabic language. In the same vein, returning Muslims face the same learning curve too. Additionally, the adoption of an Islamic lifestyle after professing our faith is not merely a spiritual change; it is a social and emotional change as well. As such, returning Muslims and Muslim converts both experience changes within their social circles, which pose significant challenges for both groups. Therefore, with this short reflection, I pray that my experiences will benefit the Muslim community in general – that regardless of where we come from, we start seeing that every Muslim experiences with personal challenges. Once we see that our challenges are not tied to where we are and who is around us, we realise that there’s always beauty and ease in showing love, concern and support to the people around us. This light of belief and faith shines outwards through our actions and our Muslim community becomes a home for new and returning Muslims.
May Allah swt guide us and open our hearts to become conduits to receive and transmit His Divine Love and allow this blessed transmission of love to be the means of the beautification of our outward and inward character.
Here are some challenges that I have faced along my journey of finding my Muslim convert identity.
FINDING MY PLACE
One of the major challenges I face is forging my own unique identity. Converts come from families with diverse cultural and religious backgrounds, often vastly different from the predominantly Malay-Muslim community in Singapore. Integrating these with our newfound faith can be a delicate dance and can sometimes create tension between embracing our heritage and integrating it with our newfound Islamic values.
The ideal path lies in forging a third space: a unique Muslim convert identity that embraces both our heritage and our faith. This requires a conscious effort to understand the nuances of both cultures, identifying similarities and celebrating differences. It also involves actively seeking knowledge and guidance from both our families and the Muslim community, creating a network of support that respects our individual journeys. We should not strive to completely abandon our past or blindly adopt the practices of the Malay-Muslim community. Instead, we must create our own unique Muslim convert identity, one that embraces both our heritage and our faith.
Our pre-Islamic background is not something to be ashamed of, but rather a valuable foundation upon which we can build our Muslim identity. Embracing our heritage allows us to connect with our families and communities, fostering a sense of belonging and understanding. Organisations can contribute to this process by fostering an inclusive environment that appreciates the richness of cultural diversity within the Muslim community. By emphasising the universal values of Islam while respecting individual backgrounds, converts can forge a unique identity that harmonises with both their cultural heritage and newfound faith.
DEALING WITH LOSS
Many converts feel a sense of loss when they embrace Islam. They may miss certain aspects of their previous traditions or feel disconnected from their families and friends who may not understand their new faith. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Converts who might have partaken in recreational activities like consuming alcohol or attending parties in clubs and bars in the past as natural social behaviour, often stop these activities shortly after embracing Islam. As a result, it is very normal to see new Muslims lose entire social circles and temporarily experience a sharp decrease in meaningful social interactions, which are important for a person’s mental, emotional and spiritual health.
However, it is important to remember that we are not alone in this journey. There are many other converts who have faced similar challenges and have found ways to navigate them.
This period of adjustment is an opportunity for personal growth and resilience. The teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) remind us that difficulties are part of life, and seeking support from a community that understands these challenges can be transformative.
By acknowledging and addressing the sense of loss, organisations can tailor their support systems to help converts navigate this transitional phase effectively. This may include specialised programmes, counselling services, and community-building initiatives that foster connections among converts.
We can find support and guidance from organisations like Converts Central which can connect us to individuals who have undergone their own conversions to Islam. Unique platforms like these serve as a vital link connecting individuals who have recently embraced Islam with seasoned practitioners who have traversed similar paths. A support system where the experiences, challenges, and triumphs of those who have undergone the conversion process can be shared and learned from is imperative to support and illuminate the way for converts to overcome challenges, find solace in shared experiences, and embark on their newfound journey with confidence and resilience.
FINDING A BALANCE
Another challenge we face is finding a middle ground in balancing our faith and practice. This is a central challenge faced by converts and born Muslims alike. We are eager to learn and grow in our faith, but we also need to avoid becoming overwhelmed. Too much focus on external practice can sometimes make our faith weary. Just as Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, “Verily, the religion is easy and no one burdens himself in religion but that it overwhelms him” (Sahih Bukhari), we need to make steady and consistent increments to our Islamic practice while also ensuring that our learning journey is one of joy and fulfilment.
It can be easy to fall into the trap of trying to “out-Muslim” everyone else. We may feel the need to prove ourselves to others or to compensate for the fact that we were not born Muslim. However, this is ultimately a counterproductive approach. We should focus on our personal journey, dedicating to please Allah, not people. The key lies in finding a balance that works for us individually. This means setting realistic goals, prioritising our learning, and allowing ourselves to make and learn from mistakes.
It also involves seeking guidance from trusted scholars who can provide tailored advice and support. One of the best ways to find balance is to seek guidance from a knowledgeable and trustworthy scholar. A good scholar can help us to understand the Quran and Sunnah in a way that resonates with our lives and steering us away from extremism and needless adversity.
Additionally, by drawing on the Prophet’s teachings on moderation and consistency, organisations can play a crucial role in guiding converts through the intricate process of integrating Islamic practices into their unique cultural and familial contexts.
BUILDING A SUPPORT SYSTEM
As Muslim converts navigating our unique paths in Singapore, the support of Islamic organisations play a vital role in our journeys. These organisations go beyond mere information provision, fostering a sense of belonging and community that nurtures our faith and empowers us to thrive.
Converts Central, specifically, has established itself as a vital resource for new and returning Muslims. Their tailored classes and community building provide us with a strong foundation in Islamic principles and practices, effectively dispelling any confusion and doubts that may arise. Additionally, their individual and group counselling sessions offer invaluable support, addressing personal and spiritual concerns in a safe and confidential environment.
The social events and gatherings organised by Converts Central are also an essential source of connection. Sharing our experiences with fellow converts who understand our unique challenges fosters a sense of belonging and community, combating feelings of isolation and alienation. This network of support becomes a source of strength and encouragement, reminding us that we are not alone on our journeys.
Organisations like Converts Central have also recognised the challenges that Muslim converts face in terms of identity and actively work to address them. They offer events that help converts understand their unique identity, explore the intersections between faith and culture, and build a sense of belonging within the Muslim community. This fosters a safe space for converts to ask questions, share experiences, and learn from one another.
Beyond supporting individual needs, Converts Central actively promotes understanding and respect for converts within the wider Muslim community. This advocacy work helps to break down barriers and create an environment of inclusivity, where converts feel valued and welcomed.
THE “X” FACTOR
We have spoken about the frequent struggles that converts face while navigating their Islamic journey. Although common, these challenges are certainly not exhaustive. Being on the path of service towards converts and returning Muslims in the past 4 years, I have personally learnt that the biggest challenge lies in how unique and personal each of our issues is.
My experience as a Chinese Muslim convert may help other Chinese Muslim converts, but it certainly will be less beneficial to an Indian Muslim convert, who was a Hindu who grew up in a Singaporean-Indian family, missing his Indian dishes and delicacies like how I miss my traditional Chinese food.
Human nature drives us to perceive everything that we interact with within the frameworks of categories, lines, and segments. Oftentimes, we take a step back when we see unfamiliar “categories.” The question that we need to ask ourselves is this – What is the “X” factor which enables a Muslim and Muslim organisations to be beneficial to every Muslim in need of support when we do not neatly fit into their “categories” or “segments”?
I will share what I have personally benefited from the amazing Muslims that have surrounded me over the past few years. There are two “X” factors.
The first one is collaboration. One person cannot help everyone. Similarly, we cannot expect the organisations around us to take on the responsibility of addressing all the challenges we face as a community. We need to get personally involved. Organisations also need to learn that activism should not be run like a business. There should not be a monopoly on helping a group of people. Conversely, in Islam, we are taught that the more people who join our cause in benefiting others, the better and more blessed our activism becomes. Therefore, organisations should view themselves as a bridge to facilitate the involvement of more individuals to get more individuals on the ground as well as other organisations to be involved in what they are doing. Everyone has a role to play, and we need to help our brothers and sisters find their roles in assisting others.
The second one is love. In Singapore, we speak many languages and one of the barriers that sometimes stops us from helping others is the fear of being unable to convey how we feel and what we understand of our faith. Nevertheless, we need to understand that the language of the heart often overcomes the language of the tongue – and that is love. When the source of our actions is the love in our hearts, even being there physically in silence for a brother is beneficial. The most important thing is to take a leap of faith and reach out to those in of need our help. Just like how converts and returning Muslims take a leap of faith to enter Islam, we need to meet them halfway and show them the beauty of the faith and our community.
With these two, the beauty of our faith shines through. Our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) first taught Islam through the language of love before anything else, and one of the first things that we come to learn of as Muslims is that our community is like parts of a body. He says “The parable of the believers in their affection, mercy, and compassion for each other is that of a body. When any limb aches, the whole body reacts with sleeplessness and fever” (Bukhari). Only when we put these two pieces of the puzzle together can we then bring real benefit to the lives of the people around us.
I often think about and ask Allah swt this – why was I the beneficiary of so much love and kindness, sincere counsel and selfless support from so many people around me?
Through Converts Central, I realised that it was the experience of benefiting tremendously from these means of receiving Divine Love that had made me aware that this should not be an occurrence that is out of the ordinary. It should not take a fortunate Chinese Muslim convert to be in the right place, at the right time to experience such kindness. In fact, it is our duty to make it a right of all Muslims. I pray that this article serves as a means for me to fulfil my responsibility to pave the way for such change.
May Allah swt allow us to emulate the perfect beauty and character of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), for we are the ultimate beneficiaries of good character. The means and the rewards of good character are from Allah swt and it is through hope and yearning for His Divine Mercy that we attain it.
